


James "mother hen" Potter's Pregnancy Blues

by TheLostLibran



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, Jilytober 2020, M/M, No Angst, Pregnancy, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-02
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-03-09 07:02:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27347068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLostLibran/pseuds/TheLostLibran
Summary: When Lily discovers that she's expecting, James Potter carries the baby and Sirius Black and Remus Lupin end up having sleepless nights.
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Kudos: 34





	James "mother hen" Potter's Pregnancy Blues

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first ever Marauders AU story I wrote (not counting The Afterlife because it is not strictly Marauders) and I'm lowkey proud of it.
> 
> These characters do not belong to me and I make no money with them. But this story is mine and I HC that this happened.
> 
> Yes, this is my favourite dialogue-only style so sorry if that's not your cup of tea.
> 
> If anything here is confusing, please drop it down in the comments and I'll clarify.

'PADFOOT! Wake up! Pads, Lily is pregnant! There's a baby in her. My baby! I- We made a baby...'

'Moony, get the blanket. James is in shock.'

'..so today was the first appointment with the Gynae. So Lily's still flat and all. You can't feel anything yet. I mean, I did try to put my hand on her belly and Lily of course, smacked it away-'

'and said that if you checked her one more time, she'd withdraw your parental rights. Sirius and I've heard it ten times already, Prongs.'

'I'm totally not missing my mom, Remus. Or James' for that matter. He is taking over for both of them. Honestly, he accompanies me everywhere- kitchen, bath, living room, he's timing my pees! I stay in one minute more than usual to fix my hair and he barges in with his wand drawn. That man..'

'I think we are destined to suffer a hysterical James all through your pregnancy, Lily.'

'At least when I'm at Grimmauld, James turns his attention on Sirius.'

'They've been gone for two and a half hours now.'

'I don't envy him.'

'Did you know Frank Longbottom's pregnant, Padfoot? I mean, Alice is. But they are. I found out today when we bumped into each other at the Ministry. We four are going to go baby shopping together.'

'Congratulations.'

'Paddy, do you know not to ever go baby shopping with your pregnant wives?'

'Are you both drunk?'

'Moony! REMUS! Never, I repeat never, ever take your husbands for shopping. Those idiots decided..'

'They projected the scan onto a paper. I saw my kid moving, Sirius, they say he's only fifteen weeks old but he looks so big! And then-'

'That's because they enlarged it for your sake. Also, he?'

'Then they made me listen to my baby's heartbeat-'

'Probably to get you to stop bouncing.'

'It was so rapid! Babies, no, all humans, they are such marvellous, miraculous creations of God!'

'You don't even believe in God, Jamie.'

'At this point, he'll believe in anything, Pads.'

'He's decided we're having a boy, Remus. I told him it could be a girl too. He insisted the baby was a mini him. I'm so done!'

'This is important Pads and Moons! So I'm listening to his heartbeat and staring at the scan, that's when mini me opened his fingers. He waved! For about..'

'She's showing. Lily's showing.'

'She's not.'

'No, she's not.'

'It clearly says here in Wagner's Guide for Expecting Mothers that most start showing by their twelfth week. Lily is in her eighteenth week! Trust me, I saw her. She's showing.'

'Unfortunately, James is right. I'm showing.'

'...so, can I see?'

'Remus, take your husband home. Now!'

'I mean, Lily says she doesn't want to know but we need to decorate our nursery, Pads.'

'Use gender neutral themes, Prongs. We are going to make the best quidditch player out of them irrespective of their sex anyway.'

'Noticed anything odd?'

'Hmm?'

'James hasn't been by in.. thirty nine days.'

'He showed me something once in the Wagner's Guide that he carries around everywhere. Apparently, the libido is quite high in the second trimester.'

'We should thank Lily's libido for uninterrupted sleep after months finally.'

'We actually should.'

'I've become fat.'

'You didn't, darling.'

'My shirts, trousers, underwear, nothing fit me anymore.'

'Moony has chocolate with him, don't you, Moons? Here, take this and let me wipe your tears..ah yes.. we'll go shopping after lunch.'

'False alarm. It was a false alarm. Lily and Mini me are fine. Lily's got extra potions prescribed, though. She's thirty three weeks, right. We have weekly appointments from now on. The false pains are totally normal so we needn't panic.'

'You sent us fourteen patronuses, you are on your sixth cup of coffee and the third plate of sandwiches. I'd say it's you who needn't panic.'

'Why is Remus allowed inside the room but we're not?'

'Because it's only for adults and- stop biting your nails, Prongs!'

'I take back everything I ever complained about James. You won't believe how excellent it is to have your feet pressed. They are always swollen. I almost feel as if I'm walking on sponge. Then he massages my shoulders. Oh God! Have you ever got a back rub before? No, from James! He's practically a professional masseuse!'

'Alice is in St. Mungos. Her contractions started early.'

'Pshh. We were hoping to deliver on the same day. Birthday twins, you know. What are James and Remus doing for so long in the nursery?'

'Setting up the crib and packing the baby bag. James is probably putting things in and then searching for them everywhere.'

'I can't find Molly's mittens, Lily!'

'They're in here already, James!'

'It's a boy, Moony. He's a boy! My boy! See, he's got my face and the button nose and my hair! I told you he'd be a Mini me, Lily.'

'His eyes are green, James. He's a Mini me too.'

'He's a Mini us, alright. So, are you ready?'

'Sirius, Remus, would you like to be our Harry's godfathers?'

'Come here, Pads. It's okay. Yes, it's overwhelming. I can understand. Stop crying.'

'I declare Harry James Potter as my heir from this day on!'

'Give Harry to me, James.'

'Five more minutes, Lily.'

'It's his feeding time, Potter. He's crying for milk!'

'He's crying because you are trying to take him from me.'

'Oh, for Merlin's sake!'

**Author's Note:**

> 31st October, 1981 was Harry's first Halloween. The Potters wore matching Stag family outfits and went out trick-or-treating with the Black-Lupins, who donned Canine clothing.
> 
> Voldemort? Voldemort who? You know who?
> 
> Kudos and comments are appreciated.
> 
> Hope you had as much fun reading this as I had writing it!
> 
> You can follow me on Insta and tumblr under the same username :)


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